Wednesday.

I am a mess. I was planning to leave in 30 minutes, but that is not happening now. I had a full-on meltdown this morning when I should have been cleaning and getting ready. Now I am way behind schedule. I only just now got a coffee and it’s 1:30pm. Disaster.

What am I having a meltdown about today? Just feeling really lost and frustrated after last night. I feel like I’m not getting anywhere in life. It’s a disaster.

I also had a meltdown because I broke my new rainbow umbrella on the way home last night. How? Oh, I was using it as a prop for my Singing in the Rain dance number on the staircase. I was just being silly. I just dance for fun, even if I’m not that good at it. It’s stress release. It’s also very fun to use the staircase as part of the routine.

I don’t think anyone saw me. Well, the CCTV cameras definitely did. But otherwise, the streets were totally empty because of the rain and it was way after midnight on a Tuesday, so yeah, safe to say no one is out at that time.

I’m stressing out like crazy. Just having a full on meltdown. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life.

It doesn’t matter. What I’m doing with my life today is packing an overnight bag, catching the next ferry to Macau, and spending the night in a luxury hotel with a gigantic bathtub. Then I will figure out what the fuck I’m doing after that.

Just give myself a night off from everything and everyone for once. Fix my karma from The Russian not letting me use the bath tub at the Mandarin Oriental. Relax. Chill. Vibe. Have fun. What is fun? I don’t know what fun is.

I don’t know what anything is. I’m such a mess.

Okay, I need to go now. Goodbye.