Tuesday afternoon. Raining all day. Set the plants outside to catch some fresh rainwater. They have all perked up and are giving a very refreshing, renewed vibe. Excited to start planting some new seeds now that I have fresh mud to work with from the storm. I shall create the most beautiful Romeo & Juliet balcony in all the town!

I have resolved to stay in my house and hide from the world for the rest of the week. I was feeling powerless earlier, so I taught myself a new hairstyle. It’s small, but it’s something I’m actually in control of. Maybe I’ll just bleach it again and go full blonde for the summer. I need a change. That seems to be the best way to go at the moment.

Currently rewatching Insatiable on Netflix, one of the few pieces of media in existence that really captures what it’s like to be a woman who carries around raw pain and suppressed rage. Watching this show is extremely cathartic for me. It can be uncomfortable at times, but there are moments that I’m just like, “Yaaaaaaaassssssssss.” Other times I’m like, “I see myself in this picture and I don’t like it.” Seemed like a good choice for today. Definitely need some beauty queen vibes to rub off on me after all the grossness of the Holidate. Ewwww….

I wish I had more to say. I’m just… honestly kinda blown away by the fact that my website is getting so much traffic right now. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I set it up this way. I did this on purpose. It was all me. It was my plan all along. I just can’t believe it worked. Like, oh, you’re still interested, huh? That bodes well. That bodes well indeed. Guess I should back to that whole writing actual stories and books and scripts thing, huh? Gotta beat the AI. Yeah, I’ll beat the AI. I’ll beat the AI into a million pieces with a baseball bat. Wood, not metal, of course. Metal is more likely to bounce. Nothing beats a good old fashioned Louisville Slugger. Especially when it comes to defeating the robots trying to take away my job. They can’t do it. They have no soul. It’s just not possible. The End.

Off to workout now. What else is there to do? Just try to get better every day, I guess. Try not to let the bad memories circulate in my brain over and over and over and over and over and over. Try to do something small that is in my control even though it has no effect on anything else in my life? Idk. I just want to be healthy. Hopefully my sad story can provide someone else the inspiration to do that.