The Revival

Here I am again, back in Verm. You all know how thrilled I am about that fact. Couldn’t be happier to be surrounded by all these ridiculous people, lol. It’s okay. It doesn’t seem to matter so much anymore. Who are they again? Where the hell are we? Does this place even really exist? I just saw a campaign online to unite the Dakotas as one and give Washington, D.C. statehood. Even East Coasters don’t see South Dakota as a legitimate state. Why the fuck does it matter what any of this small town trash thinks?

Mental Scripts Matter. This is now what goes through my head every time I walk through downtown. Much better than hating myself because a bunch of nobodies are mad that I speak my mind without fear, stand up for myself, and don’t take shit from other people. Oh, and I dress better than all of them combined. So. There is that. I don’t actually have to put up with disrespect from strangers on the street of LiStEn to anyone who just wants to be negative and tear me down. I am free just to be me. And I’m okay with that. At the end of the day, that’s all that really matters.

Just spent another week on the East Coast thanks to my train pass. I was originally going to use it to go down South, but that didn’t work out because of Covid. Instead I used the first half of my pass (10 segments/30 days) to visit family in Cleveland and go to D.C. I used the second half to go to New York City, visit my older sister, and spend an extra night in DC. After 3 weeks on the road, I can honestly saying I am feeling 1000% better than I was in all the months prior to this trip. I like being home, around my family, walking around the city, eating delicious food, shopping, and interacting with people who actually know how to behave in public. Much better than last year, when I was trapped in a house for months on end and wandered a sad, empty, apocalyptic world when I did leave. 2020/21 sucked. 0/10, would not live through another pandemic again. As if I have any control over that at all, lol.

What did I do in NYC? Well, I went to see Moulin Rouge! The Musical, which is based on my favourite movie of all time. it was Spectacular Spectacular! Amazing. Loved it. I will write about it on my new blog, which I am definitely trying to work on, lol. But yes, exactly the sort of inspiration I was looking for after two years of this miserable pandemic bs. I am so grateful I had the experience to see it. It was just… Spectacular, Spectacular!

I spent a lot of time just wandering around watching people. I do that a lot when I’m in cities. I miss diversity. I miss seeing different people every single day. New looks, new outfits, new vibes, new neighborhoods, new parties, new events, new activities, new, new, always new. I hate being stuck in a small town in the middle of nowhere, where I have to see the same stupid people every day. They never change, they never get better, and they never get over whatever dumb bullshit from ten years ago. They just get progressively nastier as time goes on. It’s… really sad and depressing, to be honest with you. After I finally escape from here, I never want to live in another small town in the middle of nowhere ever again. City life is the life for me.

I collected a lot of stories too, which was good. I didn’t get as much writing done as I’d hoped, but that’s fine. The important thing is that I am feeling happy, refreshed, revived, and finally alive again. As I said in my last post, I hope I can carry this energy through so I can finish my books, start my new blog, and work towards having a steady income again. I want to be productive and happy. I want to work. I want to live my life. I am ready to step out of the haze of my pre-pandemic life and become the person I’m meant to be.

Now, if only I could stop staring at a blank page.

It’s cool. I won’t be too hard on myself. I just spent 3 weeks traveling by train. I’m happy but exhausted. It’s not the end of the world if I go home and take a nap or watch a movie after I finish this blog post. I have laundry to do, a desk to organize, and a bathroom to clean. I also have some sleep to catch up on. If there’s one thing I’ve learned during the pandemic, it’s that mental health breaks and physical rest are important. It’s okay to take time for me before I go back out into the world.

Nothing else to say for right now. I’m feeling kind of… well… tired, lol. Obviously. Off to go do something else now. Probably eat snacks and watch TV, or sleep. I know, I’m actually really boring IRL. I am nowhere near as exciting as the locals make me out to be with their imaginary delusions of grandeur. Lol, Bloody Mary’s. What a joke. Ha ha ha ha ha. These people are real. Hahahahaha. I can’t even, you guys. Oh well. At least it makes a good story! And at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters to me.