Bonjour tout le monde!
I know I make a lot of “Coming Soon” posts, but clearly I was not expecting the following setbacks when I made those:
- The very generalized hostile energy that exists towards outsiders living in South Dakota. I’ve since figured out they’re just like that as a rule towards anyone expressing weird, different, and therefore fabulous energy. Not my crabs, not my bucket.
- Some of us just survived a whole worldwide pandemic. Some of our family members didn’t quite make it out alive.
- On that note, did I mention I myself lost multiple important family members in the pandemic? Yep, so that was “a thing,” as so many people just casually say these days.
So here I am now, with three binders full of potential projects and ideas. Needless to say, I had to take some time away to work on my mental health. Obviously for me that translates to quitting Facebook and Snapchat forever, occasionally posting on this blog, and making one post on my private Insta per month while actively tweeting way too much of my life on my not-quite-so-private Twitter account (which I definitely also need to quit), which we all know has been secretly documented and screenshotted by professional creepers for like, literal years. What can I say? Some *men* have literally nothing better to do than try to take a strong-yet-struggling, hardworking woman down. It is what it is.
Since my amazing, life-changing experience at the Paris Writing Workshop, I’ve struggled to put my stories together into books. It’s been a process. It’s very hard to be writing about people in a small town where they can actively retaliate against you in weird ways IRL. It’s also hard to write in general. I struggle with my purpose a lot. Is there even a place for someone like me in this modern world full of 5-20 second soundbites that nobody even bothers to fact-check? Has everyone just caved into this obvious Chinese psy-op to dumb our society down further? Does anyone even read real books anymore? Does anybody even care? Do people actually want to read the garbage generated by AI? Can they even tell the difference? Is everyone around me really this checked out, turned off, and tuned out? Am I really just sitting here biding my time while I wait for the world to end? What even is the point of this anymore?
I have no idea. I don’t have the answers to any of these questions right now. I’m just sitting here being present in the moment, and right now that moment involves me drinking bourbon to forget the fact that I have an awkward situation hiding behind a plant about 10ft away from me. That’s a real thing. So, yeah, what is my purpose? Why am I here? I swear to god this post had a point but maybe it really doesn’t anymore.
Anyway, keep watching this space. Stay tuned for… something… anything… maybe? I don’t even know anymore.