Tuesday. The days run so long here. It’s strange how time passes differently in different places. In Thailand, the days seemed to just drag by, then suddenly three weeks would be gone. Just like that.

Spent the day yesterday scrolling through LinkedIn tying to figure out a strategy for my job hunt. Here it is: just be your usual charming self, put your CV out there, and hope for the best. Also, routine is important. I got instant coffee to make immediately when I hop out of bed, I started doing an hour of yoga again, and set up shop on my rooftop, which features a very lovely garden. Now, here I am.

I also made plans to meet up with one of my new HongKonger friends I met at the Deli on Sunday. They are also job hunting. We decided to do an accountability session to keep us positive. I mean, I think I need it more than he does. Chinese people are just built different. I must learn as much as I can from them. I am grateful for the opportunity to do so now.

Otherwise, I reactivated my Facebook account, which basically tripled my website traffic in less than 12 hours. I am Jack’s total and complete lack of surprise. It’s not as terrible as I remember it. I think I was just really unhappy in my old life and that colored my experience of the world around me. I was always on there comparing myself to everyone else. Nightmare. Now I feel very confident and secure in my experiences. It probably has something to do with the fact that I’ve been to 6 countries this year and acquired residency paperwork for Hong Kong.

Hong Kong. Wow. I still can’t believe I’m here. What a dream. But, in the wise words of Mushu from Mulan (my favourite Disney movie), “If you’re gonna stay, you have to work.”

So here I am.

What else did I do? Well, I got bored and decided to do some investigative work. I still can’t find my Hot Beef Stew. I will never find him, lol. I have to make peace with that. Well, you know what they say: “The best way to get over a man is to get under another one.” We’re done with the Four Bangkok Boyfriends. It’s time for Hong Kong Boyfriend One. Lol.

Who else did I creep on? Hmm. Tried to find my vampire ex (Merrick) but I think he quit social media in general. Then I looked up Levi Gene and discovered he moved on from his divorce FAST. Both of them did, lol. Guess that explains why he didn’t send me a gift basket to thank me for my services. What a jerk.

Then I decided to google my friend from the IRA and actually read the articles about him. I had not read them before because I did not want them to influence my opinion of him in anyway way. What I learned is that I know absolutely nothing about Ireland or my family or my own history. I had very little context for the subject matter I was reading about. It was frustrating. It’s like there’s this piece missing that I should have in me, but I don’t. So now I have to set aside time to teach myself everything there is to know about the history of Ireland. Sigh. Maybe I should just go back to school and get a Masters degree in political science like I’ve been wanting to forever.

I did find one very, very, VERY entertaining article about him. It was basically tabloid trash. Like real authentic British tabloid trash. Like you’re standing in the line at the grocery store and sifting through the celebrity gossip rags. It had the grainy photos and everything. And the writing. OMG. The writing was just spectacular. They described him as a “Mankini-wearing dissident” and “Pretty Boy” with “no shortage of beautiful brunettes on his arm.”

Gurl. What? Oh my god! My face melted off when I read that. I was dying. I cannot be a serious person. My mind immediately went straight to The Comedy Zone.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, check out the July spread in this year’s “Pretty Boys of the IRA” calendar. It features this handsome young lad in an emerald green mankini posing on the beach. All proceeds from your purchase of this calendar go to feeding orphans in Thailand!

It’s not funny. It’s not funny. It’s really not funny. But that tabloid trash article I read? That was funny AF. I was crying from laughing so hard. Oh man.

I can just hear my dad’s voice in my head right now: “It’s not funny, Betsey! This is serious! People died! And besides, you can’t do a sexy calendar like that for the IRA because they all wear masks.”

Okay, yeah, of course. I totally see what you’re saying, Dad. But what if they weren’t wearing masks? Or body armor? Or anything at all? What if we just make it a “Pretty Boys of Ireland” calendar instead? Slightly less controversial, I think. All proceeds go to feeding orphans in Thailand!

I want my birthday month of November to feature the entire Irish rugby team shirtless, on the beach, in even tinier, tighter shorts. Yassss Queen! All proceeds go to feeding orphans in Thailand!

We could make this work. We could.

I am not a serious person at all.

It’s just that the world is such a dark, dreary, depressing place. Why not lighten up a bit?

Honestly I couldn’t think of anyone else I wanted to creep on after that. I just shut my computer feeling like I need to take a MasterClass on all things Ireland. This is the real lesson I’ve learned from yesterday. Very convenient distraction, I think. Just channel all the obsessive energy into something practical. It’s the only way to live.

Okay, that’s enough of that for today. It’s time to get on the yoga mat and get a solid workout in before I start job hunting today. Rid myself of all distractions. Like men. Men are such a distraction. No wonder I can’t get anything done. I’m surrounded by them. Ick. Get them away. Take me to a nunnery! No, wait, that will just make it worse. Nevermind. Scratch that. Terrible idea all around.

Off now. Hope you all have a very lovely day. Or night, as it were. As we say, it’s already tomorrow in Hong Kong. <3