BLOG: Stay Positive

Currently sitting at a cafe, desperately trying to be positive about my situation right now. I refuse to feel this hopeless when I came to the literal opposite side of the planet to change my life. There must be something I can say or do to make myself feel better.

Main Perks:

  1. I’m in one of the most beautiful places in the world.
  2. I’m not in South Dakota, a place I despise with the flaming passion of a thousand suns. Worst place ever. Ugh. Hate it. Do not miss it at all.
  3. I’m not sitting at “The Club” listening to the same five people make the same five complaints about their lives without doing anything to change. God, what a fucking downer. I thought I would miss the food there while I was gone, but I don’t. I don’t even miss it a little bit. Nor do I miss hanging out with the people there who spend the afternoons plying themselves with shots and bombers until reaching well-beyond black out status. Turns out two mojitos is quite enough for me, please and thank you. I absolutely despise small town Midwest drinking culture. That is not who I really am. I don’t know how I got sucked into it, but it’s just not me.
  4. At least now I can say to all the haters, “See? I told you men are problematic everywhere you go in the world. Once again, I was right, and you were wrong. Why are you wrong? Because you’re a misogynist who believes women are not human beings, and therefore we don’t have the right to stand up for ourselves or speak our minds. As per usual, this is a YOU problem, not a ME problem. It’s not my fault you’ve been brainwashed to defer to men over everything instead of believing women when they tell you about their real, legitimate, lived experiences. I am not the problem for reporting on it. You are the problem for continuing to enable it.
  5. I got up off my ass and went to the other side of the planet in an effort to change my life. That alone is worthy of respect. Sure, it’s been a crappy couple of days, but at least I made a significant effort to make a change and leave my old life behind. So there.
  6. I already paid for that piece of paper, so I’m getting it no matter what.
  7. It’s okay to have a bad day. Apparently everyone here recognizes that the upcoming full moon makes people act different and weird. Thankful to be in a place that still recognizes various levels of spirituality and the power of nature. So many Americans think they are above Nature, but they are not. That is why most of them are so sick and unhappy all the time. That is one stereotype I’ve encountered here over and over. They always ask, “Why are all the Americans who come here so unhappy?” Gee, I wonder.
  8. Did I mention how happy I am not to be in South Dakota right now? UGH! I would rather be sad in a fabulous cafe overlooking the beach than spend one more afternoon listening to the same people circle-jerking themselves into misery. God, what a nightmare. Hate it.
  9. For as much as I hate being in my body, I look fucking amazing right now. I’m in the best shape of my entire life. Who said women expire at 30 again? Not this old hag! Besides, my issue with being in my body is not because it looks bad. It’s because my soul is several thousand years old and longs to be free of any earthly form. I totally understand now. That’s why I always hear that calling to return to the universal oneness from the beyond. Reclining Buddha bodies.
  10. Maybe this guy isn’t lying. Or maybe he is. Honestly, he probably is. Either way, if I find myself in a human trafficking-adject situation, it’s the perfect opportunity to off myself and finally free my soul from this miserable plane. Looking forward to it.

Okay, time to go back to school now. The storm is coming and I don’t want to be caught in the monsoon-level rains, especially with all my electronics in my bag. Have a good day!


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