BLOG: Slowly but Surely Getting It Together

Monday. Back in my office again. This is becoming a regular thing. That’s a pretty good sign considering the fact that I’ve spent most of my time recently moving between the bed, the chair in front of the TV, and the bars. Time to be a real person again (if I ever even really was) and take back control of my life.

This week I am exclusively focused on building a better Weekly routine. I’ve got the Daily routine on lockdown for the most part. Now I have to give a stronger framework to the entire week so I can actually stick to the daily pattern. Right now, my goal is to make it to Sunday keeping the framework I built for the week intact. I have, in fact, included a certain “regular” lunchtime routine in this schedule, so that it’s already on there. That’s my one day I have scheduled for my “Bloody Mary Brunch.” Anything outside of that is a No. It’s not happening. That’s my one day I get that and that’s it.

Otherwise, I am focused on building a routine around my workouts and choosing some new spots in town to sit in. I’m over Downtown in general. Honestly, mainly just tired of listening to the same group of people talk shit about everyone else who isn’t in the room at the moment. I’m going to seek out some student-dominated spots so I can absorb their studious, motivated energy and use it to propel myself forward in life. Not sure where these spots will be yet, but I will find them. I made a list of new ones to try that I haven’t been to before. Way to motivate myself. Let’s see how many job applications I send out this week.

Quite pleased with the little script I wrote on Saturday night. There’s a couple of things I love about it:

  1. It wasn’t inspired by Andrew. Sure, he was featured as a character, but he is not the main character in the story. I am. The idea did not come from him. It came from me. The idea was inspired by quite a variety of things I’ve been experiencing in Verm since my Bloody Mary’s days ended back in 2018. Or was it 2017? Who even remembers anymore, honestly? Everything before the pandemic is a blur.
  2. Other characters finally stepped forward. I have mentioned in before that I keep a running list of characters I encounter in my town. This is the first time they’ve started coming out on the page. Before, it was all still VERY much centered around Bloody Mary’s. Now, not so much. The rest of the town is starting to take shape around it. The characters are starting to gather in crowds, waiting for their chance in the spotlight. It’s progressing. See? I’m not mad about getting #Banned4Lyfe. In hindsight, it’s actually worked out quite well for me. If you wanna be mad, blame him for unleashing me on the rest of the town. See what he did there? Because I do.
  3. LOL at Levi. I feel like I can finally move past that ridiculous episode now that I’ve written a funny little story about putting, not one, but three pies in his face. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. It’s totally okay to write totally and completely, 100% self-serving stories to make myself feel better about life. I don’t have to feel bad about it and other people don’t have to get it. It is what it is.
  4. While the story is somewhat based in raw emotion, it’s clearly progressing past that. The raw emotion is starting to take a very peculiar shape, and that shape appears to be comedy skits. Turning rage and pain into humor? That’s the real challenge in this game. That is something I have long-aspired to do but found myself incapable of. So, something is happening here.
  5. I definitely still need to work on making my characters sound like themselves and not me, but I’ve known for like, decades, lol. I’m not there yet. These things do not manifest overnight. They just don’t. The difference now is that I’ve spent 15 years around these people, so now I understand what they are *actually* supposed to sound like. I’m just… not there yet. I need more time!

See? Wow. And here I thought I was metaphorically trapped in a giant, sunken tar pit surrounded by mammoth skeletons. No escape possible. No way forward. Just getting sucked deeper and deeper down into the hole, never to see the light of day ever again. But apparently, it’s actually working out fine for me. I’m creating my very own Town. Betseyville, USA. Far from everything, even further from ordinary. Come for the controversy, stay because you also accidentally stepped into the exact same tar pit and got sucked down into the void.

So, yeah, I guess that really did make me feel better in more ways than one. Self-esteem boosted! Also, I checked my recent stats again and Bloody Mary’s actually really is blowing up like crazy again. It’s been years since I’ve seen that, but yeah, there’s definitely a pattern starting to reappear. Now THAT makes me feel better about life. Some of those people just… gave me such an unnecessarily hard time over it. Like, it was just crazy. It was not a normal reaction. Those people are not normal. I can’t imagine getting that angry over a book, but I also didn’t grow up in a small town in the middle of nowhere. Cannot relate on a significant cultural level. I’m disappointed in myself for letting them get me down as much as they did, but they caused me real, serious, significant problems that were based on nothing but fake, malicious gossip designed to damage my reputation. That’s not my fault. That’s not my problem. That has nothing to do with me. That’s all him and his creepy little cult of loyal followers. And now he’s gone and wow, surprise! No one actually gives a shit anymore! So, yeah, it definitely makes me feel good to know my book has outlasted all that crazy, unhinged bullshit. I survived. I’ve outlived my enemies. There’s nowhere to go from here but up. Time for me to reclaim my title as Writer Extraordinaire and take back my power of the pen.

Time to get back to my day. What’s on the schedule for today? Well, I decided to start out with a soft-ball, aka working out, doing laundry, running errands, and cleaning up the apartment. Classic GTL, without the T. Maybe GCL? Gym, Clean, Laundry? Lol, whatever. Does anyone even still get that reference anymore?

Anyway, yeah, focused on cleansing the space and getting ready for the week. The next three days are about finding a new third space where I can focus on getting some job applications and blogs done. Friday is when my brunch is scheduled, so, let’s see if I can accomplish something before I get there. Maybe I will skip it altogether because I absorb so much energy that I end up on a roll. What a dream, lol.

Well, there you have it, ya’ll. I’m not perfect, but at least I’m trying. I’m out here doing the best I can to be the best version of myself I can be. You may not always like it, but you better respect it. Otherwise… perhaps someday, you, too, will become the subject of a story where you receive a pie to the face. And guess what? You probably deserved it.

Have a good week, ya’ll!

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