Sunday. Sitting my office with a coffee. I wrote a story at about 1:30am last night. Totally out of nowhere. It was amazing. I literally cannot even remember the last time I wrote anything like that. I think it’s been actual years at this point. Sure, it’s lame and silly and pointless, but it makes ME laugh, and that’s what’s really important. I needed that laugh more than anything. I’m just so sad all the time, you guys. Literally all I do is mope around and cry. It’s pathetic. Therefore, I am quite pleased that I wrote a little story. That’s a good sign! That means things are finally getting back on the right track.
What is this story about? Well, it’s literally just about a couple of guys I know getting pies to the face. That’s it. That’s the whole story. It’s based on part of the halftime show from the basketball game yesterday. Obviously, Andrew was the first in line to receive a pie to the face. Obviously. Who else can you imagine getting such a distinct honor? And honestly, you guys, it truly was very satisfying to write. I felt better afterwards. It was theraputic. I’m not actually joking when I say I went through a lot of really unnecessary, messed up stuff because of his inappropriate, completely overblown reaction to my book. It’s been really hard for me. For no reason! Literally no reason! There is literally no reason why we could not ever come to an agreement and understand each other. And whose fault is that? His. He didn’t want to. He wanted to act like a child and stir up a bunch of bullshit and now that he’s gone it’s suddenly not a problem anymore for anyone! Hmm! Mysterious! Maybe he just gets off on screwing with people for fun. Either way, he definitely deserves a pie to the face, and that’s why he got one. The End.
Hope ya’ll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Hopefully now that the levee is finally breaking, my inspiration will finally come rushing back. This is all I ask for in life. I just want to create again. Some days it feels like it will never happen again. I am so stuck in a rut right now. I can’t even begin to describe how deep the hole of depression I’ve fallen back into is. I’m fighting it with every cheesy mantra I can find, but yeah, that darkness is really weighing me down. I wish I could meet someone here who just wants to have fun and forget all the bad stuff life throws our way. Alas. It’s just… more bad stuff. Oh, you just finished eating your shit sandwich? Well, here’s another one, and another one, and another one after that. Nothing but shit sandwiches for the rest of your life. Have fun.
It’s just like… I want nothing more than to change and finally get better and just be normal for once in my life, but I can’t. It’s just not happening. Every road I go down leads to another dead end. It’s so frustrating. I feel like I’m never going to get anywhere. I’m just gonna keep getting trapped in the same negative, toxic cycles no matter how desperately I want to break free. That alone is the truly terrifying thing. Like I don’t even possess the ability to identify a healthy situation in the first place, whether it’s in relationships or in work or anything, really. I always go for the unsafe, toxic situations that end up hurting me in the end. How can you break a pattern like that when it’s all you’ve ever known?
This post is so depressing. At least you can click the previous post button and get a laugh! Maybe. It’s not really for any of you. It’s really just for me so I can laugh at myself and make light of the ridiculous situations I always find myself in. It’s hilarious! I can actually see something is wrong with my brain! Lol!
Time to go do something else now. Have a good Sunday! I heard it’s like, an important day or something. I have no idea. My big holiday is next week. See all ya’ll then.