Where Am I?

Am I okay???

I don’t know. Most of the time, I feel like… no. No, I am not okay at all. Then I review my notes from the last year and come to the pleasant conclusion that I am doing the best I can and accomplishing things on my own time. It really depends. Sometimes I’m doing really well! I’m working from home in my fabulous studio, organizing everything, and staying healthy. Other times… well… I get into a weird space in my head, go on a drinking binge, and word vomit all over Twitter. It is what it is. The fact that I have a stalker screenshotting my every move probably doesn’t help. At least we know he’s always entertained. Never a dull moment in my life, that’s for certain.

Currently very ill with serious stomach pains due to my latest freakout/binge. It’s not great, but it does inspire me to add a habit tracker and food diary to my 2022 Bullet Journal. I’m totally convinced at this point that if I just create the perfect customer planner for the next year, I’ll finally be the Best Version of Me and finally get my life together. I know, it seems pretty unlikely at this point, but at least I’m trying. Keeping a planner and journal this year did help a lot. I’ve just decided to consolidate it all into one convenient notebook that I can reference for everything.

How’s the writing going? Uhh… well… unfortunately I wrote a story about Andrew yesterday. It looks like it’s starting where I left it off before I went to Montana. We all know how that turned out. Then, lots of arguing for a long time. Now, here we are again. I’m not exactly thrilled, but at least it’s something? I guess? I’m so over it, you guys. I’m tired. I want to write actual books. If this guy is gonna keep showing up with his fucking screenshots, he can man up and be a real man, whatever that means. No more stories. I just want to write clickbaity fluff for entertainment so I can make $$$$$ and not live at home with my parents anymore. Priorities. I have them now. They don’t involve men. FDS has taught me well.

How is the quest to write clickbaity fluff going anyway? Umm… idk. About the same as trying to write everything else is going. It’s so frustrating, you guys. All I can say is that I have a very strict rule about my filling my time with other productive activities and writing-related things for inspiration. Lately, I’ve been learning all about taxes and finances and that other boring stuff. Wow, did you even know South Dakota is an expert-level tax haven? You can break all the laws here. Yeah, it’s great. Turns out that 10-year residency card is good for something after all. I’m just kidding. Or am I?

Planning to take some new courses in the new year to help with the copywriting level up game. Pretty excited about that. Keeping up with my Musical Mondays concept, which gives me the time and space to express myself in other ways. I just do it for fun, which takes a lot of the pressure of perfection off. The whole idea is to overcome the need to be perfect, which I struggle with so much when it comes to writing. That’s why I’m not writing anything right now. Every time I sit down to look at the blank page, I just…. ugh. Ugh. I have no idea what I’m doing, lol. Except for the fact that I am an obsessive Planner and therefore have everything I plan to write outlined to the very last detail. For some reason that makes it harder to let the words just flow?

No pressure, of course. I’m not competing with any of these other perfect little Instagram Influencers and their perfectly curated content machines and how the fuck am I supposed to make money on a blog about being a perfect lifestyle goddess when I am a hotass messy mess? Oh my god. It’s way too much for a normal person to even try to live up to, let alone me. I can’t do it. I’m totally freaking out right now. Somebody get me a Personal Branding Coach before I have an anxiety attack and explode.

Note to Self: There is, in fact, a market for people who cannot ever possibly live up to these impossible standards of perfection. They’re called “normal people.” I actually have quite a few of them in my audience. They’ll read anything I have to say and tell all their friends. Shoutout to all ya’all! You’re the GOATs. I love you. You’re the best. I’d be nothing without you. Thanks for not living up to whatever bullshit lie social media says you have to be in order to succeed.

Just wanted to stop by and give you all an update on why I’m not writing on my new blog yet. Please know that I am working on it and my books and doing everything in my power to bring you the Best of BetseyHorton.com. Thank you for checking up on me while sitting at Bloody Mary’s talking shit and passing your phones around the table. I wouldn’t be here without you.

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